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My Last EU Country

Published October 18, 2024

Malta, my last EU country.

A few weeks before in Merzouga the blonde German girl asked me where I was heading next.

“Where will you go next?”

“I'm going to Malta, my last EU country and then South America.”

She didn't understand initially.

“Lassst?”

“Yeah, after Malta I will have visited every EU country.”

She rested her head on her hand and stroked her chin. And looked at me with alive eyes.

I liked that look.

And I liked that feeling.

To be honest, as I always am. I didn't want to go through all the bullshit, I didn't want to do all that shit again right now. I wanted to be at my desk. With my animals. In my bathtub.

Oh my love, Oh my bathtub

Fuck Sake!

Planes and Trains and Buses and People

arghhhh

But of course I did. You just gotta do it. Then you can say cool shit and have it be REAL!

I have now visited every EU country.

Cool Shit. REAL!

...continue reading

My Last EU Country

Published October 18, 2024

Malta, my last EU country.

A few weeks before in Merzouga the blonde German girl asked me where I was heading next.

“Where will you go next?”

“I'm going to Malta, my last EU country and then South America.”

She didn't understand initially.

“Lassst?”

“Yeah, after Malta I will have visited every EU country.”

She rested her head on her hand and stroked her chin. And looked at me with alive eyes.

I liked that look.

And I liked that feeling.

To be honest, as I always am. I didn't want to go through all the bullshit, I didn't want to do all that shit again right now. I wanted to be at my desk. With my animals. In my bathtub.

Oh my love, Oh my bathtub

Fuck Sake!

Planes and Trains and Buses and People

arghhhh

But of course I did. You just gotta do it. Then you can say cool shit and have it be REAL!

I have now visited every EU country.

Cool Shit. REAL!

...continue reading

Morocco

Published October 1, 2024

This was the furthest I had ever got against The Morocco Curse. I was off the plane and standing in front of a happy and nice looking Moroccan lady. A few questions and a stamp, that's all I needed.

I threw my phone at her instead.

HA!

I placed it through the small gap in the glass to show her the name of my hotel.

The phone went flying, bounced from counter to keyboard to counter and then straight at her.

Her shocked face stayed shocked for a real long five seconds.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

EYES WIDE MOUTH OPEN

00

O

CLICK. CLAP. SNAP.

ACTION!

She passed my weapon back through the hole, confirmed my name and then asked what my job was, always a difficult question to answer.

"Writer, blogger." I said.

True, and …

Founder and God of The Church of BRAD

The BRAD NICHOLLS of BRAD NICHOLLS Podcast

A dude currently visiting every country in the world (is that a job?)

BradEarth

The Creator and The Ultimate of The Sui Generis

I could go on and on couldn't I.

Out in the arrivals hall everything was quiet and relaxed.

I had read all the bad stuff about Morocco and Marrakech. Now here I was and it was all starting to smell like bullshit.

Stepping out of Marrakech airport, into a calm warm early night. It was weird. The feeling only continued on the bus, and walking through Jemaa el-Fnaa square to my riad.

The bus driver had made a cutesy foreign exchange scam attempt with me, it was so cute. An old Moroccan lady thanked me so sincerely when I let her sit next to me. Young Moroccan women were smiling my way, warm warm smiles.

The fuck!

What the fuck were all these people talking about.

I had been promised horror, I was getting sweetness and peace.

At the riad, I stripped to my underwear in the hot room.

No air-con, thirty whatever degrees.

I ate my sweets and drank my water.

It was my birthday. I was now thirty three.

I went through my planned trip and didn't feel very excited.

Marrakech-Casablanca-Rabat

Hmm…

I already knew what I was gonna do.

THE DUNES

Merzouga. Erg Chebbi. The Sahara. I was going to the fucking desert.

...continue reading

Morocco

Published October 1, 2024

This was the furthest I had ever got against The Morocco Curse. I was off the plane and standing in front of a happy and nice looking Moroccan lady. A few questions and a stamp, that's all I needed.

I threw my phone at her instead.

HA!

I placed it through the small gap in the glass to show her the name of my hotel.

The phone went flying, bounced from counter to keyboard to counter and then straight at her.

Her shocked face stayed shocked for a real long five seconds.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

EYES WIDE MOUTH OPEN

00

O

CLICK. CLAP. SNAP.

ACTION!

She passed my weapon back through the hole, confirmed my name and then asked what my job was, always a difficult question to answer.

"Writer, blogger." I said.

True, and …

Founder and God of The Church of BRAD

The BRAD NICHOLLS of BRAD NICHOLLS Podcast

A dude currently visiting every country in the world (is that a job?)

BradEarth

The Creator and The Ultimate of The Sui Generis

I could go on and on couldn't I.

Out in the arrivals hall everything was quiet and relaxed.

I had read all the bad stuff about Morocco and Marrakech. Now here I was and it was all starting to smell like bullshit.

Stepping out of Marrakech airport, into a calm warm early night. It was weird. The feeling only continued on the bus, and walking through Jemaa el-Fnaa square to my riad.

The bus driver had made a cutesy foreign exchange scam attempt with me, it was so cute. An old Moroccan lady thanked me so sincerely when I let her sit next to me. Young Moroccan women were smiling my way, warm warm smiles.

The fuck!

What the fuck were all these people talking about.

I had been promised horror, I was getting sweetness and peace.

At the riad, I stripped to my underwear in the hot room.

No air-con, thirty whatever degrees.

I ate my sweets and drank my water.

It was my birthday. I was now thirty three.

I went through my planned trip and didn't feel very excited.

Marrakech-Casablanca-Rabat

Hmm…

I already knew what I was gonna do.

THE DUNES

Merzouga. Erg Chebbi. The Sahara. I was going to the fucking desert.

...continue reading

Some Thoughts on Some Things

Published August 20, 2024

This will be self-indulgent. But what else is there. And this is my kingdom after all.

START

Where do I feel at home?

Europe ?

Europe is a warm hug on a cold day. Sunshine through the leaves. The singular problem, it's not even a problem but maybe it is, -_ it's too close to where I was born. Therefore it lacks in that one exotic. The need to be far far far away from what I first knew here on Earth. Earth a rock in a vacum, dust of the excelerating explosion. Or push.

America ?

I am America. AMERICA!!!! It's one of the things I am.

Canada ?

A one-time home. British Columbia. West. It started uncomfortable and became special to me.

East Asia ?

I was 21, turned 22 and then 23 all on the same stretch in East Asia, the first Asian leg of my Three Year MEGA Journey. South Korea, Japan, Taiwan. Loves till the end, no doubt.

Southeast Asia ?

Southeast Asia, each spot is unique and each holds unique memories and importance. I was a travel snob about much of it for a long time. But fuck me. SEA is wild, I've explored every country and so much of it.

Australia ?

Australia was interesting, weird and familiar, but I didn't feel home there. I did feel like it could be some thing in the future though. Some thing, but maybe not home, or maybe.

Africa ?

Africa, haven't been yet, don't know yet.

South America ?

South America, haven't been yet, don't know yet.

I already know the answer - it's all my home. I claim it all.

I am part of these places and these places are a part of me.

The bald spot, sometimes expanding, sometimes shrinking on my head.

There has to be a faster way to get effective drugs to market.

I didn't really enjoy the Tokyo Olympics, I do enjoy them usually, maybe it's because they were a starved weird weird covid games. I will watch Paris and enjoy. Paris done. I did watch Paris and I did enjoy.

...continue reading

Some Thoughts on Some Things

Published August 20, 2024

This will be self-indulgent. But what else is there. And this is my kingdom after all.

START

Where do I feel at home?

Europe ?

Europe is a warm hug on a cold day. Sunshine through the leaves. The singular problem, it's not even a problem but maybe it is, -_ it's too close to where I was born. Therefore it lacks in that one exotic. The need to be far far far away from what I first knew here on Earth. Earth a rock in a vacum, dust of the excelerating explosion. Or push.

America ?

I am America. AMERICA!!!! It's one of the things I am.

Canada ?

A one-time home. British Columbia. West. It started uncomfortable and became special to me.

East Asia ?

I was 21, turned 22 and then 23 all on the same stretch in East Asia, the first Asian leg of my Three Year MEGA Journey. South Korea, Japan, Taiwan. Loves till the end, no doubt.

Southeast Asia ?

Southeast Asia, each spot is unique and each holds unique memories and importance. I was a travel snob about much of it for a long time. But fuck me. SEA is wild, I've explored every country and so much of it.

Australia ?

Australia was interesting, weird and familiar, but I didn't feel home there. I did feel like it could be some thing in the future though. Some thing, but maybe not home, or maybe.

Africa ?

Africa, haven't been yet, don't know yet.

South America ?

South America, haven't been yet, don't know yet.

I already know the answer - it's all my home. I claim it all.

I am part of these places and these places are a part of me.

The bald spot, sometimes expanding, sometimes shrinking on my head.

There has to be a faster way to get effective drugs to market.

I didn't really enjoy the Tokyo Olympics, I do enjoy them usually, maybe it's because they were a starved weird weird covid games. I will watch Paris and enjoy. Paris done. I did watch Paris and I did enjoy.

...continue reading

Broken America and Joe Biden Drops

Published July 23, 2024

It all started at the debate.

I was so excited. I could feel something coming.

I got a big bag of toffee popcorn and a big bottle of Pepsi MAX No Caffeine.

I watched and documented my thoughts in real time.

It was a wonderful ninety nine minutes.

Donald calm and dull, his ear bullet-free.

Joe gape-mouthed, moist and smelly, lost in a fridge.

27 June was a turning point. It will become more important with time.

...

Biden is out of the race, but he's still sitting behind the Resolute Desk.

He might be there right now; eating ice cream, rubbing his pasty fake Irish belly, fingernails tapping on the nuclear codes. GET THIS PRICK OUT OF OFFICE!

The deal between Joe and KamKam, implicit or explicit is 'endorsement and delegates' for you, no 25th Amendment for me. Kay!

He is 'cooked' NOW, not five months from now, but NOW!

The sad truth is this one will likely be a responsible step too far for the Democratic establishment and the spotlight will shine far away from America's incapable President now. He'll be safe until January 20th 2025, the rest of America, not so much.

The saliva falling from the mouths of everyone who pushed him out can be used to pleasure my penis. Thanks. Treating this man like a saint that just invented bacon is to cover for the fact that THEY are the idiots that supported his 2024 campaign in the first place, while shutting down a real primary process. Not all of them, but most.

...continue reading

Broken America and Joe Biden Drops

Published July 23, 2024

It all started at the debate.

I was so excited. I could feel something coming.

I got a big bag of toffee popcorn and a big bottle of Pepsi MAX No Caffeine.

I watched and documented my thoughts in real time.

It was a wonderful ninety nine minutes.

Donald calm and dull, his ear bullet-free.

Joe gape-mouthed, moist and smelly, lost in a fridge.

27 June was a turning point. It will become more important with time.

...

Biden is out of the race, but he's still sitting behind the Resolute Desk.

He might be there right now; eating ice cream, rubbing his pasty fake Irish belly, fingernails tapping on the nuclear codes. GET THIS PRICK OUT OF OFFICE!

The deal between Joe and KamKam, implicit or explicit is 'endorsement and delegates' for you, no 25th Amendment for me. Kay!

He is 'cooked' NOW, not five months from now, but NOW!

The sad truth is this one will likely be a responsible step too far for the Democratic establishment and the spotlight will shine far away from America's incapable President now. He'll be safe until January 20th 2025, the rest of America, not so much.

The saliva falling from the mouths of everyone who pushed him out can be used to pleasure my penis. Thanks. Treating this man like a saint that just invented bacon is to cover for the fact that THEY are the idiots that supported his 2024 campaign in the first place, while shutting down a real primary process. Not all of them, but most.

...continue reading

Broken America and the Trump Assassination Attempt

Published July 18, 2024

The most important question...

HOW did he get on that rooftop, with that gun and get off the shots?

I've seen the work of the Secret Service with my own eyes. In 2011 during Barack Obama's state visit to the UK and at his 2013 inauguration. Snipers are plenty, spotters are everywhere.

Small details are not overlooked, giant bottle plants aren't either.

The theory, one of the theories will be and should be this - they knew what he was planning, and he was given the space and time needed to do the job.

Some will wrongly claim Occam's razor is a lone gunman and massive incompetence. They are wrong. It's the most acceptable thing to say, to veer away from conspiracy theories, the line that polite society will pat you on the head for, but that's all.

How does a 20 year old get on that roof and take the shots, if not allowed, if not given the space and time. And the information.

There is so much, too much, for simple incompetence.

The ladder! The Fuck!

The access to the roof! The Fuck!

The absence of officers on the roof! The Fuck!

The crowd pointing out the shooter beforehand! The Fuck!

The hesitation of the snipers, the long wait to take the shot! The Fuck!

The Fucking Fuckidity Fucko Fuck Fuck FUCK!

Another weird wrinkle is the identity of the shooter: both Republican and Democrat, conservative and progressive, no real social media history - a ghost.

A portrait of wisps and mud.

...continue reading

Country 60 - Portugal

Published July 10, 2024

It's a different kind of hot here. The Mediterranean warmth. Not the happy horror heat of the tropics, or the suffocating thrilling annoyance of a muggy New York or stuffy London. It's pleasant. A pleasant hotness.

I was just off the plane. A nice flight. I had a very sexy, very polite, very E, chavvy kinda gal sitting next to me. And a group of big fat black people surrounding me. They were genuinely fun.

Football played on screens through open doors and windows.

I walked the dark streets from the bus station in the centre of town towards my accommodation for the night.

As I did, the penalties were being lined up and put away and saved. And a lot were saved.

Portugal saved them all and scored three to win.

For the last couple I was in the fan zone of hundreds of people by the harbour, hundreds of amped-up Portuguese. Jumping, dancing, screaming. Football is the same everywhere. It's the only sport that really matters to the world.

I checked into my hotel for the night, ate the snacks I bought at the airport and fell asleep.

The next morning I saw some of Faro, a quick walk, probably an hour. I got the sense of the place. Nice sense. No problem, would return.

Faro station had no electronic boards, no information or updates on trains and timings and platforms. I hate lack of details. When details of the world are missing, details that should be there. You're a fucking train station, act like it!

The train was the train. Through the country up to the capital. It looked like Portugal. It was Portugal.

...continue reading

Country 60 - Portugal

Published July 10, 2024

It's a different kind of hot here. The Mediterranean warmth. Not the happy horror heat of the tropics, or the suffocating thrilling annoyance of a muggy New York or stuffy London. It's pleasant. A pleasant hotness.

I was just off the plane. A nice flight. I had a very sexy, very polite, very E, chavvy kinda gal sitting next to me. And a group of big fat black people surrounding me. They were genuinely fun.

Football played on screens through open doors and windows.

I walked the dark streets from the bus station in the centre of town towards my accommodation for the night.

As I did, the penalties were being lined up and put away and saved. And a lot were saved.

Portugal saved them all and scored three to win.

For the last couple I was in the fan zone of hundreds of people by the harbour, hundreds of amped-up Portuguese. Jumping, dancing, screaming. Football is the same everywhere. It's the only sport that really matters to the world.

I checked into my hotel for the night, ate the snacks I bought at the airport and fell asleep.

The next morning I saw some of Faro, a quick walk, probably an hour. I got the sense of the place. Nice sense. No problem, would return.

Faro station had no electronic boards, no information or updates on trains and timings and platforms. I hate lack of details. When details of the world are missing, details that should be there. You're a fucking train station, act like it!

The train was the train. Through the country up to the capital. It looked like Portugal. It was Portugal.

...continue reading

Denmark lovely

Published May 7, 2024

I've created a new term 'Denmark lovely'

What does that mean?

When the annoyances inside don't ruin the whole.

Oh great, thanks.

That is Denmark lovely.

Denmark was Denmark lovely.

BOOMS and BANGS

Not long after I sat down in Copenhagen Airport and began eating my roll of Mentos an announcement came over the speakers.

"Today the government of Denmark will be testing the emergency siren system."

...and the emergency alert system too, everyone in Denmark including visitors would get a text!!

FUN STUFF.

Here we go.

The ludicrously priced Stansted Mentos were digesting now, and here I was ready for ACTION!

The sirens sounded across the land and the 'PRESIDENTIAL ALERT' hit my phone.

The message jumped onto the screen, vibrating excited and proud.

I appreciated the dramatic welcome. Test? Perhaps... warning to nation that Brad Nicholls was here, much more likely.

...continue reading

Denmark lovely

Published May 7, 2024

I've created a new term 'Denmark lovely'

What does that mean?

When the annoyances inside don't ruin the whole.

Oh great, thanks.

That is Denmark lovely.

Denmark was Denmark lovely.

BOOMS and BANGS

Not long after I sat down in Copenhagen Airport and began eating my roll of Mentos an announcement came over the speakers.

"Today the government of Denmark will be testing the emergency siren system."

...and the emergency alert system too, everyone in Denmark including visitors would get a text!!

FUN STUFF.

Here we go.

The ludicrously priced Stansted Mentos were digesting now, and here I was ready for ACTION!

The sirens sounded across the land and the 'PRESIDENTIAL ALERT' hit my phone.

The message jumped onto the screen, vibrating excited and proud.

I appreciated the dramatic welcome. Test? Perhaps... warning to nation that Brad Nicholls was here, much more likely.

...continue reading

I am 'They'! ,,,mostly bathtub thoughts.

Published April 20, 2024

Who the fuck are ‘They’?

I am ‘They’!

I decide the life I live. The world I build.

I'm in the bathtub.

Happiness in a bathtub.

Happiness is a bathtub.

Heaven’s a half-pipe.

Suck My Dickz.

Dust and Synth and all the light we ever lit.

Lost Universe. The suns are brains trying to figure it all out.

What the fuck the universe is.

The fuck is this.

And.

What the fuck is going on.

The fuck is going on.

?

Did you know one of my favourite ever albumsiz is Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II, both were released on the day I was born - September 17th 1991.

A literal birthday present, Oh My GAWSH!!!

Tanks.

There's a sweet Chinese ASMR streamer. She doesn't have many viewers. I don't watch her long but I jump in there with her for a minute or two. I hope she's happy, I wish her the best.

She might have autistic-downs and she's very pretty.

I am a kind and loving man and have never committed a single crime. Ok. Okay lah!?

I went on the rollercoaster of the future long before AI was a concern.

Chill.

...continue reading

I am 'They'! ,,,mostly bathtub thoughts.

Published April 20, 2024

Who the fuck are ‘They’?

I am ‘They’!

I decide the life I live. The world I build.

I'm in the bathtub.

Happiness in a bathtub.

Happiness is a bathtub.

Heaven’s a half-pipe.

Suck My Dickz.

Dust and Synth and all the light we ever lit.

Lost Universe. The suns are brains trying to figure it all out.

What the fuck the universe is.

The fuck is this.

And.

What the fuck is going on.

The fuck is going on.

?

Did you know one of my favourite ever albumsiz is Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II, both were released on the day I was born - September 17th 1991.

A literal birthday present, Oh My GAWSH!!!

Tanks.

There's a sweet Chinese ASMR streamer. She doesn't have many viewers. I don't watch her long but I jump in there with her for a minute or two. I hope she's happy, I wish her the best.

She might have autistic-downs and she's very pretty.

I am a kind and loving man and have never committed a single crime. Ok. Okay lah!?

I went on the rollercoaster of the future long before AI was a concern.

Chill.

...continue reading

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