Bulgaria

Published July 18, 2022

SOFIA, definetly one of the more romantic names for a city.

I had no set expectations for it though, I wasn't expecting Paris but I also wasn't not expecting Paris.

I exited the station to find a dark underworld, I turned left and found a walker, a ghoul, a fucking problem.

I turned right and found a ghostly void.

AHHHHHHHH FUCKING CUNTCUNTCUNT.

On my third take, I found an opening up onto the streets.

As I broke out into the open summer night air of Sofia my eyes focused on the word 'HOTEL' painted in big white block letters on the side of a building across the empty streets. I didn't know if it was my hotel or not, but fuck it, I gave it a try.

HOTEL was my hotel.

I was strangely attracted to the guy at the small reception desk.

Tall and skinny, with a baby face and ruffled boyish hair and what appeared to be a sweet, fragile, feminine soul.

I had none of these thoughts in the moment or even in the days after, it's only now as I sit here at my desk at 4:30 in the morning, in southern England, that I have suddenly realised all of this. I could have actually bent this feminine wisp boi of a thing over and fucked him.

Hmm, cool, nice to know.

...continue reading

Bulgaria

Published July 18, 2022

SOFIA, definetly one of the more romantic names for a city.

I had no set expectations for it though, I wasn't expecting Paris but I also wasn't not expecting Paris.

I exited the station to find a dark underworld, I turned left and found a walker, a ghoul, a fucking problem.

I turned right and found a ghostly void.

AHHHHHHHH FUCKING CUNTCUNTCUNT.

On my third take, I found an opening up onto the streets.

As I broke out into the open summer night air of Sofia my eyes focused on the word 'HOTEL' painted in big white block letters on the side of a building across the empty streets. I didn't know if it was my hotel or not, but fuck it, I gave it a try.

HOTEL was my hotel.

I was strangely attracted to the guy at the small reception desk.

Tall and skinny, with a baby face and ruffled boyish hair and what appeared to be a sweet, fragile, feminine soul.

I had none of these thoughts in the moment or even in the days after, it's only now as I sit here at my desk at 4:30 in the morning, in southern England, that I have suddenly realised all of this. I could have actually bent this feminine wisp boi of a thing over and fucked him.

Hmm, cool, nice to know.

...continue reading

Cyprus

Published June 29, 2022

CYPRUS

Cyprus, the 4th new country of the year.

Package Holidays

This was my first package holiday since I was very young and a holiday with my mum too.

One of the things about these package holidays - they are both extremely long and incredibly short. The time dripped on slowly and yet when it came time to leave I felt as if I had just arrived.

Arriving in Paphos

It was night when we arrived in Paphos. At the 'tourist village' an old worker with a thick Northern accent drove us by golf buggy to our apartment.

"You've got a nice room!" he said, in that hard to pinpoint, general Northern accent, the excitement sounded genuine though as we sped around the narrow streets towards our apartment block, one of 48.

It turned out to be the nicest one in the entire village.

The next morning

The next morning we went out onto the balcony and found the deep blue mediterranean and an impressive panoramic view, on the hillside to the left stood the lighthouse built by the British in the 1880s, well-spaced palms lined the beach.

Some words

Breakfast, Beach, 7 Up Free, Balcony

...continue reading

Cyprus

Published June 29, 2022

CYPRUS

Cyprus, the 4th new country of the year.

Package Holidays

This was my first package holiday since I was very young and a holiday with my mum too.

One of the things about these package holidays - they are both extremely long and incredibly short. The time dripped on slowly and yet when it came time to leave I felt as if I had just arrived.

Arriving in Paphos

It was night when we arrived in Paphos. At the 'tourist village' an old worker with a thick Northern accent drove us by golf buggy to our apartment.

"You've got a nice room!" he said, in that hard to pinpoint, general Northern accent, the excitement sounded genuine though as we sped around the narrow streets towards our apartment block, one of 48.

It turned out to be the nicest one in the entire village.

The next morning

The next morning we went out onto the balcony and found the deep blue mediterranean and an impressive panoramic view, on the hillside to the left stood the lighthouse built by the British in the 1880s, well-spaced palms lined the beach.

Some words

Breakfast, Beach, 7 Up Free, Balcony

...continue reading

lithuania, the bore

Published April 22, 2022

Lithuania was already marked for disapoinment, so I actually wasn't too disapointed about this trip. Estonia was magical, a month later Latvia was Latvia and now here we were, Lithuania, a country I had already proclaimed on BRAD NICHOLLS Podcast would be Number 3, my least favourite Baltic country, because 1. Estonia 2. Latvia 3. Lithuania was the way it should be.

It was.

However.

(And this is where the nation of Lithuania will now forever become an enemy I suppose)

I wasn't expecting such a dramatic drop off.

Estonia GREAT Latvia LATVIA Lithuania OH MY FUCKING FUCK, WHAT A BORE!

Outside my hotel's window - which had a panoramic view of the Vilnius skyline - a small group of workers turned a section of the car park below into what looked like a decently sized mass grave, I watched the progress each day. This would be the most interesting thing Vilnius and Lithuania offered up.

...continue reading

lithuania, the bore

Published March 20, 2022

Lithuania was already marked for disapoinment, so I actually wasn't too disapointed about this trip. Estonia was magical, a month later Latvia was Latvia and now here we were, Lithuania, a country I had already proclaimed on BRAD NICHOLLS Podcast would be Number 3, my least favourite Baltic country, because 1. Estonia 2. Latvia 3. Lithuania was the way it should be.

It was.

However.

(And this is where the nation of Lithuania will now forever become an enemy I suppose)

I wasn't expecting such a dramatic drop off.

Estonia GREAT Latvia LATVIA Lithuania OH MY FUCKING FUCK, WHAT A BORE!

Outside my hotel's window - which had a panoramic view of the Vilnius skyline - a small group of workers turned a section of the car park below into what looked like a decently sized mass grave, I watched the progress each day. This would be the most interesting thing Vilnius and Lithuania offered up.

...continue reading

Latvia
Ukrainian flags in Riga

Published March 20, 2022

I was disapointed as I caught my first sight of the ground, 'Ah, no snow then.' I thought as the plane approached the runway.

I wasn't expecting the same SNOW MAGIC I experienced a month earlier in Tallinn, but some would have been nice.

Immigration was an annoyance, as was relaxing in the terminal with militant female security guards patrolling for rule-breakers. This Latvia place was aparently a stickler for rules. I enjoy breaking rules. A fun dynamic was already being set.

I ate some lunch in the terminal and then headed for the bus. As I boarded the thing, the happiest damn bus driver in the world greeted me.

I can't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember he said it all with the zeal of a dof dof is a new word that now exists, I was going to write dog and then something about a dog being happy with some kinda bone or something, but I'm keeping it as dof this motherfuckin' bus driver was a mo'fu'n DOF.

The guy truly loved driving that bus.

When I arrived in my room I was happy to find an extremely Latvian view out the window. I don't know why it was extremely Latvian, it just was. I felt like I was in Latvia and I liked that.

I turned on the television and as usual went straight for the news. . .

CNN Ukraine Russia Invasion Madness

...continue reading

Latvia
Ukrainian flags in Riga

Published March 20, 2022

I was disapointed as I caught my first sight of the ground, 'Ah, no snow then.' I thought as the plane approached the runway.

I wasn't expecting the same SNOW MAGIC I experienced a month earlier in Tallinn, but some would have been nice.

Immigration was an annoyance, as was relaxing in the terminal with militant female security guards patrolling for rule-breakers. This Latvia place was aparently a stickler for rules. I enjoy breaking rules. A fun dynamic was already being set.

I ate some lunch in the terminal and then headed for the bus. As I boarded the thing, the happiest damn bus driver in the world greeted me.

I can't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember he said it all with the zeal of a dof dof is a new word that now exists, I was going to write dog and then something about a dog being happy with some kinda bone or something, but I'm keeping it as dof this motherfuckin' bus driver was a mo'fu'n DOF.

The guy truly loved driving that bus.

When I arrived in my room I was happy to find an extremely Latvian view out the window. I don't know why it was extremely Latvian, it just was. I felt like I was in Latvia and I liked that.

I turned on the television and as usual went straight for the news. . .

CNN Ukraine Russia Invasion Madness

...continue reading

Beautiful Esnownia
Brad Nicholls in Tallinn

Published February 23, 2022

The plane dropped below the clouds and into a new world. This world was one beyond the wardrobe, the other side of some wormhole somewhere, a sealed off enchantment of those in the know. Basically, it had a FUCK load of snow.

It had been a long time since I had seen this much snow.

On the ground all the arrivals seemed exhalted by the wonderland outside.

Several english speakers testified to the airport terminal that they had, "Never seen this much snow before in Estonia."

I jumped on the tram and made it to downtown. I kind of wanted to get lost in the snow on the way to my hotel, but once I stepped off the tram the hotel was a very easy find. So I checked in instead, all the while thinking of the snow fun I would be having that night and the next day and the day after that.

I went up to my room and headed straight for the wall of windows at the end of it. I tore the curtains open to a perfect view of Tallinn, snow-consumed Tallinn. I already loved it. I loved Tallinn, I loved Estonia.

By the time I went back outside the sky had blackened and the aesthetic floor of snow had been added to by the lights of buildings and street lights.

I realised that snow actually made me happy. Thinking about it now, certain weather does have that ability. All kinds of extreme weather brings out the child inside. When I'm in the tropics I always have another element of me there, when I'm in the real cold, same thing. Perhaps I just don't like boring weather; in fewer words - I can't wait for some real climate change.

...continue reading

Beautiful Esnownia
Brad Nicholls in Tallinn

Published February 23, 2022

The plane dropped below the clouds and into a new world. This world was one beyond the wardrobe, the other side of some wormhole somewhere, a sealed off enchantment of those in the know. Basically, it had a FUCK load of snow.

It had been a long time since I had seen this much snow.

On the ground all the arrivals seemed exhalted by the wonderland outside.

Several english speakers testified to the airport terminal that they had, "Never seen this much snow before in Estonia."

I jumped on the tram and made it to downtown. I kind of wanted to get lost in the snow on the way to my hotel, but once I stepped off the tram the hotel was a very easy find. So I checked in instead, all the while thinking of the snow fun I would be having that night and the next day and the day after that.

I went up to my room and headed straight for the wall of windows at the end of it. I tore the curtains open to a perfect view of Tallinn, snow-consumed Tallinn. I already loved it. I loved Tallinn, I loved Estonia.

By the time I went back outside the sky had blackened and the aesthetic floor of snow had been added to by the lights of buildings and street lights.

I realised that snow actually made me happy. Thinking about it now, certain weather does have that ability. All kinds of extreme weather brings out the child inside. When I'm in the tropics I always have another element of me there, when I'm in the real cold, same thing. Perhaps I just don't like boring weather; in fewer words - I can't wait for some real climate change.

...continue reading

Walking from Nice to Monaco
Brad Nicholls during his walk from Nice to Monaco

Published March 31, 2019

The night before I was still fighting away that enemy of a voice inside that questioned if I could really do it.

I was in no shape to spend five hours in the sun walking twelve miles along a rugged and hilly coastline. I thought about changing the mission…

‘Maybe I could do a hike instead.'

‘Maybe I can just make a vlog in Nice or Monaco.’

I went to bed only 90% sure I would be putting my body through hell the next day.

In the morning I slept another hour after my alarm went off, I woke up and reset it knowing that once it went off again, I would be doing it, I would be walking to Monaco.

...continue reading

Walking from Nice to Monaco
Brad Nicholls during his walk from Nice to Monaco

Published March 31, 2019

The night before I was still fighting away that enemy of a voice inside that questioned if I could really do it.

I was in no shape to spend five hours in the sun walking twelve miles along a rugged and hilly coastline. I thought about changing the mission…

‘Maybe I could do a hike instead.'

‘Maybe I can just make a vlog in Nice or Monaco.’

I went to bed only 90% sure I would be putting my body through hell the next day.

In the morning I slept another hour after my alarm went off, I woke up and reset it knowing that once it went off again, I would be doing it, I would be walking to Monaco.

...continue reading

IRELAND
Brad Nicholls in Dublin, Ireland

Published December 10, 2021

For some reason the flight to Dublin had a heightened importance.

I don’t know why but I felt it, I spent the entire flight neck twisted to the right, taking in every cloud and all the differences in terrain the plane was shooting past. It was a beautiful and varied flight. Meaningful Entertainment.

I spent my entire time in Dublin Sqwenking around. That’s a new word I’ve just created. Sqwenking.

I knew I had nothing to do in Dublin and that’s exactly what I did.

In all honesty it just looked like a UK city and not one of the more interesting ones. It took only one long walk around to come to that conclusion.

SO I SQWENKED.

...continue reading

IRELAND
Brad Nicholls in Dublin, Ireland

Published December 10, 2021

For some reason the flight to Dublin had a heightened importance.

I don’t know why but I felt it, I spent the entire flight neck twisted to the right, taking in every cloud and all the differences in terrain the plane was shooting past. It was a beautiful and varied flight. Meaningful Entertainment.

I spent my entire time in Dublin Sqwenking around. That’s a new word I’ve just created. Sqwenking.

I knew I had nothing to do in Dublin and that’s exactly what I did.

In all honesty it just looked like a UK city and not one of the more interesting ones. It took only one long walk around to come to that conclusion.

SO I SQWENKED.

...continue reading

The Journey Through Northern Malaysia

Published June 30, 2018

It was a change of plans.

We had spent the last few weeks in Bali and now it was time for the second leg of our trip - Vietnam. But I had been turning against the original plan.

Our flight to Hanoi had a layover in Kuala Lumpur and the option of throwing away the Hanoi flight and staying in Malaysia was becoming more and more enticing.

By the time we boarded the plane to Kuala Lumpur, I had decided.

...continue reading

The Journey Through Northern Malaysia

Published June 30, 2018

It was a change of plans.

We had spent the last few weeks in Bali and now it was time for the second leg of our trip - Vietnam. But I had been turning against the original plan.

Our flight to Hanoi had a layover in Kuala Lumpur and the option of throwing away the Hanoi flight and staying in Malaysia was becoming more and more enticing.

By the time we boarded the plane to Kuala Lumpur, I had decided.

...continue reading

Place Nostalgia Disorder
Published November 1, 2021

I have PND.

Place Nostalgia Disorder.

It is serious.

It hits me often and without warning.

In the bath. Frying some eggs. Staring off into another dimension.

PND!

F u c k , h e r e w e g o

I begin longing for my bench in Ohori Park in Fukuoka, the one with the turtles swimming up against the concrete lake shore to say hellooo…

I daydream of my old window, open, the heat of Taipei spills into the room. I gaze at the police station and the student accommodation across the street and further off the long row of shops, convenience stores and restaurants… I’m smoking a strong cigarette. My girlfriends still in class. I’m 22 years old.

...continue reading

Place Nostalgia Disorder
Published November 1, 2021

I have PND.

Place Nostalgia Disorder.

It is serious.

It hits me often and without warning.

In the bath. Frying some eggs. Staring off into another dimension.

PND!

F u c k , h e r e w e g o

I begin longing for my bench in Ohori Park in Fukuoka, the one with the turtles swimming up against the concrete lake shore to say hellooo…

I daydream of my old window, open, the heat of Taipei spills into the room. I gaze at the police station and the student accommodation across the street and further off the long row of shops, convenience stores and restaurants… I’m smoking a strong cigarette. My girlfriends still in class. I’m 22 years old.

...continue reading

Spain Andorra Norway
Three more countries done

Published October 7, 2021

I ate a lot of Burger King in Madrid. And, some very sweet Spanish pastries.

I had some Tinder dates as usual, they went as Tinder dates usually go.

I went around the city and saw some sights.

I liked Madrid but didn’t especially love it, so after a few days I jumped on a high-speed train to Barcelona which I found to be more my kinda city.

It often felt like I was in a separate nation in Catalonia. I can’t see Spain holding onto this part of the world for much longer. I only saw a single Spanish flag.

Since I arrived in Spain I had been searching for the next country on the trip. Covid has made travel such a fucking annoyance in so many ways.

Portugal? Eastern Europe? Ireland? Turkey? Cyprus? Malta? The Baltic states?

Eventually I decided on Andorra and it was one the reasons I had come to Barcelona. To have that option there.

...continue reading

Spain Andorra Norway
Three more countries done

Published October 7, 2021

I ate a lot of Burger King in Madrid. And, some very sweet Spanish pastries.

I had some Tinder dates as usual, they went as Tinder dates usually go.

I went around the city and saw some sights.

I liked Madrid but didn’t especially love it, so after a few days I jumped on a high-speed train to Barcelona which I found to be more my kinda city.

It often felt like I was in a separate nation in Catalonia. I can’t see Spain holding onto this part of the world for much longer. I only saw a single Spanish flag.

Since I arrived in Spain I had been searching for the next country on the trip. Covid has made travel such a fucking annoyance in so many ways.

Portugal? Eastern Europe? Ireland? Turkey? Cyprus? Malta? The Baltic states?

Eventually I decided on Andorra and it was one the reasons I had come to Barcelona. To have that option there.

...continue reading

On a Metro train in Madrid
Published September 29, 2021

I'm on a Metro train in Madrid right now - (well I was when I wrote this) - I smell like sweat. I think a few other people have noticed.

I used to feel self-conscious about the smells my human body could produce. I don't anymore.

'Enjoy it!' I scream to the carriage.

...continue reading

On a Metro train in Madrid
Published September 29, 2021

I'm on a Metro train in Madrid right now - (well I was when I wrote this) - I smell like sweat. I think a few other people have noticed.

I used to feel self-conscious about the smells my human body could produce. I don't anymore.

'Enjoy it!' I scream to the carriage.

...continue reading

Fall
Published September 25, 2021

Masturbating over my favorite season.

(This is going to be weird)

Fall.

It’s my favourite season and for a reason.

Or maybe reasons.

Winter is just behind, ya'know.

Then Summer.

Then finally Spring. FUCK SPRING. Or not, I don’t care.

...continue reading

Fall
Published September 25, 2021

Masturbating over my favorite season.

(This is going to be weird)

Fall.

It’s my favourite season and for a reason.

Or maybe reasons.

Winter is just behind, ya'know.

Then Summer.

Then finally Spring. FUCK SPRING. Or not, I don’t care.

...continue reading

One Year Nicotine and Caffeine and Alcohol Free
Published September 2, 2021

The title says most of it.

But I will ramble on for here for several decades anyway.

I did it. I didn’t have any of the bad stuff for a whole year. For fuck’s sake, I went around the damn sun and didn’t give in. But, to be completely honest, I never felt much temptation.

It’s odd. I smoked and/or vaped for thirteen long years and then it was so easy just to stop. The caffeine was just as easy and the alcohol was the easiest, I’ve never been a constant drinker, but I was a binge drinker.

All of this has coincided with many more health related changes for the better.

...continue reading

One Year Nicotine and Caffeine and Alcohol Free
Published September 2, 2021

The title says most of it.

But I will ramble on for here for several decades anyway.

I did it. I didn’t have any of the bad stuff for a whole year. For fuck’s sake, I went around the damn sun and didn’t give in. But, to be completely honest, I never felt much temptation.

It’s odd. I smoked and/or vaped for thirteen long years and then it was so easy just to stop. The caffeine was just as easy and the alcohol was the easiest, I’ve never been a constant drinker, but I was a binge drinker.

All of this has coincided with many more health related changes for the better.

...continue reading

The Streets of Fukuoka - MEGA: A Three Year Journey FREE Chapter

Published August 30, 2021

This is a free chapter from my memoir - MEGA: A Three Year Journey

…lucky you.

Purchase the book here

.

The room was light but the light felt far away, my tatami mat tucked into the wall had stolen some darkness from the light in the room.

I adjusted to the artificial lighting, sat up and looked across the dorm. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and focused on the window. The night sky outside was slowly turning a deep shade of blue, it took a moment to realise its significance.

I had slept for most of the journey across the Korea Strait and with the morning sun about to rise I would soon be on Japanese soil.

Despite the deep sleep I had fallen into, I woke groggy with my head muddled. It was as if my brain couldn't accept that I had actually been able to sleep on an overnight ferry in a room full of people.

I stood up and left the dorm for a morning cigarette.

I was hungry, finding myself in the same situation as the night before, only having Won and not the yen the vending machines and restaurant on the boat liked. I would have to wait for breakfast.

I smoked most of my pack of cigarettes in place of a proper meal and readied myself for at most an hour of bullshit before I could eat and sleep.

...continue reading

The Streets of Fukuoka - MEGA: A Three Year Journey FREE Chapter

Published August 30, 2021

This is a free chapter from my memoir - MEGA: A Three Year Journey

…lucky you.

Purchase the book here

.

The room was light but the light felt far away, my tatami mat tucked into the wall had stolen some darkness from the light in the room.

I adjusted to the artificial lighting, sat up and looked across the dorm. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and focused on the window. The night sky outside was slowly turning a deep shade of blue, it took a moment to realise its significance.

I had slept for most of the journey across the Korea Strait and with the morning sun about to rise I would soon be on Japanese soil.

Despite the deep sleep I had fallen into, I woke groggy with my head muddled. It was as if my brain couldn't accept that I had actually been able to sleep on an overnight ferry in a room full of people.

I stood up and left the dorm for a morning cigarette.

I was hungry, finding myself in the same situation as the night before, only having Won and not the yen the vending machines and restaurant on the boat liked. I would have to wait for breakfast.

I smoked most of my pack of cigarettes in place of a proper meal and readied myself for at most an hour of bullshit before I could eat and sleep.

...continue reading

Airport Flirt
A 60 Minute Airport Romance in Kuala Lumpur
Published August 24, 2021

A 60 Minute Airport Romance in Kuala Lumpur

This is a story that will most likely feature in my next memoir. If you would like to read stories from my first memoir then you should buy it here -

MEGA: A Three Year Journey

.

I wasn’t walking anywhere in particular. Just making circles and figure-eights of the large terminal.

I had just said goodbye to my Vietnamese “Girlfriend”

I knew we were going to break up. There wouldn’t be another long trip with her. This had been our second. The first was a month-long enjoyable and eventful journey across Vietnam south to north. This trip, we spent a few weeks in Bali and a few across Malaysia. But it would be all over soon.

The way of the world. Just as one romance was dying another would spark into life.

She appeared out of thin-air, eyes down to the ground then back up gazing into my eyes, lips curled slightly, an eyebrow raised.

It was if she had been practicing the move in the mirror all morning.

All of the air was sucked out of the universe.

The thousands of wandering travellers looked in my direction.

Arms up, screaming “GO GET HER!”

Well, probably not.

I stood there, body stunned, mind turning at furious speed.

...continue reading

Airport Flirt
A 60 Minute Airport Romance in Kuala Lumpur
Published August 24, 2021

A 60 Minute Airport Romance in Kuala Lumpur

This is a story that will most likely feature in my next memoir. If you would like to read stories from my first memoir then you should buy it here -

MEGA: A Three Year Journey

.

I wasn’t walking anywhere in particular. Just making circles and figure-eights of the large terminal.

I had just said goodbye to my Vietnamese “Girlfriend”

I knew we were going to break up. There wouldn’t be another long trip with her. This had been our second. The first was a month-long enjoyable and eventful journey across Vietnam south to north. This trip, we spent a few weeks in Bali and a few across Malaysia. But it would be all over soon.

The way of the world. Just as one romance was dying another would spark into life.

She appeared out of thin-air, eyes down to the ground then back up gazing into my eyes, lips curled slightly, an eyebrow raised.

It was if she had been practicing the move in the mirror all morning.

All of the air was sucked out of the universe.

The thousands of wandering travellers looked in my direction.

Arms up, screaming “GO GET HER!”

Well, probably not.

I stood there, body stunned, mind turning at furious speed.

...continue reading

what i like
hehehe...
Published July 9, 2021

hehehe...

i like sitting down and punching the keys with my fingers.

powerful punches. ten at a time sometimes.

punch. punch. punch.

i like the word cunt. so i will put it here, completely unrelated to anything else.

punch. punch. punch.

japan is a nice place. i’ve been twice. got run over by a man on a bicycle in shinjuku. lived in net cafes. fucked some women. got too drunk. got lost. ate a lot of curry. i like curry.

wood is nice too. i like wood.

i like cunt japan curry wood.

i like cunts and i like japans and i like curry and i like woods.

cuntjapancurrywood.

i’m going to build a giant cunt in japan, full of curry and made of wood.

...continue reading

what i like
hehehe...
Published July 9, 2021

hehehe...

i like sitting down and punching the keys with my fingers.

powerful punches. ten at a time sometimes.

punch. punch. punch.

i like the word cunt. so i will put it here, completely unrelated to anything else.

punch. punch. punch.

japan is a nice place. i’ve been twice. got run over by a man on a bicycle in shinjuku. lived in net cafes. fucked some women. got too drunk. got lost. ate a lot of curry. i like curry.

wood is nice too. i like wood.

i like cunt japan curry wood.

i like cunts and i like japans and i like curry and i like woods.

cuntjapancurrywood.

i’m going to build a giant cunt in japan, full of curry and made of wood.

...continue reading

A Wednesday of Revenge - A one minute story
I have one minute to write it, starting... now!
Published July 5, 2021

I have one minute to write it, starting... now!

How many more of these were they going to send me?

This was the seventeenth in a year. SEVENTEENTH.

These people had already sent me enough to fill a small drawer.

These envelopes were being sent to me by the pigeon people.

...continue reading

A Wednesday of Revenge - A one minute story
I have one minute to write it, starting... now!
Published July 5, 2021

I have one minute to write it, starting... now!

How many more of these were they going to send me?

This was the seventeenth in a year. SEVENTEENTH.

These people had already sent me enough to fill a small drawer.

These envelopes were being sent to me by the pigeon people.

...continue reading

The Bang Sniffer - A one minute story
I have one minute to write it, starting... now!
Published July 5, 2021

I smelt one. A big one. Crusty mint kind. Couldn’t stand it. Was there somewhere. I went searching. Gotta catch it. Nose up alive. The Bang Sniffer. Coming for ya. Heart beating fast. Legs moving quick. Eyes fixed high.

...continue reading

The Bang Sniffer - A one minute story
I have one minute to write it, starting... now!
Published July 5, 2021

I smelt one. A big one. Crusty mint kind. Couldn’t stand it. Was there somewhere. I went searching. Gotta catch it. Nose up alive. The Bang Sniffer. Coming for ya. Heart beating fast. Legs moving quick. Eyes fixed high.

...continue reading

I just burnt a small alien alive
I have one minute to write it, starting... now!
Published July 1, 2021

I just burnt a small alien alive.

It was NOT my fault. Well I burnt it. I did. I doused the thing in olive oil. I lit the match. It was NOT my fault though.

I’m not going to explain any of this.

...continue reading

I just burnt a small alien alive
I have one minute to write it, starting... now!
Published July 1, 2021

I just burnt a small alien alive.

It was NOT my fault. Well I burnt it. I did. I doused the thing in olive oil. I lit the match. It was NOT my fault though.

I’m not going to explain any of this.

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© Brad Nicholls