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Obsession. Perfection. 100.

Published October 17, 2026

Why am I like this?

Why do I care so fucking much about every single fucking thing?

Why can I lie, but I'll never lie to myself?

Well that is just the way I FUCKING AM!

A month ago I turned 35, September 17th. It was very special, I had accomplished something very special. Hitting 100 countries and territories on both the Travelers' Century Club list, and my own list of countries/territories the BECAT.

And I also went further over the line just in case my hundreds of counts of my lists had somehow some kind of mistake somewhere. They didn't, I knew they didn't, but of course I still went further.

I forced myself out of bed again, to cross the bridge and enter Paraguay, have a lovely afternoon coughing my way around the city of Ciudad del Este. Splitting concrete, Breaking hearts.

I ended The BIG AMERICAS TRIP at 102 on the TCC and 101 on the BECAT. Definitive. Undisputed. 100 COUNTRIES AND TERRITORIES IN MY FUCKING BAG!!

I left Sao Paulo on my birthday, Pizza Hut buffet in my belly, flying into the night sky on a 777, watching the Backrooms movie, heading for England, home. Happy.

I'm writing this on my own software. One of several programs I have 'vibe' coded since I got back. My new obsession a new core is Artificial Intelligence. It has been building inside for a while now. More on that at the end of this, because first I want to write about my obsessive personality, and that inability to lie to myself.

I fell asleep. After a long day. On September 30th I fell asleep. I didn't publish my Blog post, the '100' milestones Blog post. It was the morning of October 1st, early morning early morning. I woke up and instantly knew. FUCK. A new problem. What to do. The post was done, finished, the webpage not. I made it October 1st and knew this wasn't the solution. Self-lies, Impossible.

I've built, I've eaten, I've had many baths, I've worked my fingers numb, and I've had this annoying bit of shitty annoyance in my mind too. Pedantic Crap. Yes, PEDANTIC CRAP. But it's been a thing. It's been a problem.

...continue reading

Obsession. Perfection. 100.

Published October 17, 2026

Why am I like this?

Why do I care so fucking much about every single fucking thing?

Why can I lie, but I'll never lie to myself?

Well that is just the way I FUCKING AM!

A month ago I turned 35, September 17th. It was very special, I had accomplished something very special. Hitting 100 countries and territories on both the Travelers' Century Club list, and my own list of countries/territories the BECAT.

And I also went further over the line just in case my hundreds of counts of my lists had somehow some kind of mistake somewhere. They didn't, I knew they didn't, but of course I still went further.

I forced myself out of bed again, to cross the bridge and enter Paraguay, have a lovely afternoon coughing my way around the city of Ciudad del Este. Splitting concrete, Breaking hearts.

I ended The BIG AMERICAS TRIP at 102 on the TCC and 101 on the BECAT. Definitive. Undisputed. 100 COUNTRIES AND TERRITORIES IN MY FUCKING BAG!!

I left Sao Paulo on my birthday, Pizza Hut buffet in my belly, flying into the night sky on a 777, watching the Backrooms movie, heading for England, home. Happy.

I'm writing this on my own software. One of several programs I have 'vibe' coded since I got back. My new obsession a new core is Artificial Intelligence. It has been building inside for a while now. More on that at the end of this, because first I want to write about my obsessive personality, and that inability to lie to myself.

I fell asleep. After a long day. On September 30th I fell asleep. I didn't publish my Blog post, the '100' milestones Blog post. It was the morning of October 1st, early morning early morning. I woke up and instantly knew. FUCK. A new problem. What to do. The post was done, finished, the webpage not. I made it October 1st and knew this wasn't the solution. Self-lies, Impossible.

I've built, I've eaten, I've had many baths, I've worked my fingers numb, and I've had this annoying bit of shitty annoyance in my mind too. Pedantic Crap. Yes, PEDANTIC CRAP. But it's been a thing. It's been a problem.

...continue reading

One Hundred Countries and Territories DONE

Published September 30, 2026

It was a weird thing (not a weird feeling) …

I didn't really feel anything, but a factual thing.

It was fact now, I had done it.

TCC 100

BECAT 100

100 Countries and Territories

100 Countries & Territories

100 Countries/Territories

100 100

Both summits conquered, both milestones cleared. And I hit them both days before my arbitrary (but for some reason very important) deadline of my thirty fifth birthday.

Obsession.

Onwards We Go

All of those simulations for months, and all the Dig Out Blind of this trip and this year, the getting up and fucking going, moving forward. It was done.

The way these big achievements feel is different each time.

I felt a similar unfeeling—ness when I hit 50 countries in Liechtenstein a few years ago. Eating a Lion bar, repeating the fact “This is my fiftieth country, 50th Country!”.

The one travel milestone that did bring genuine emotion, was completely unexpected.

On the bus from the airport, in Malta. My last EU country.

‘This is my last EU country.’ I thought to myself.

The tears of joy and completion started welling up beneath my eyelids.

Weird, hey.

Weird.

You never know. Emotions.

...continue reading

One Hundred Countries and Territories DONE

Published September 30, 2026

It was a weird thing (not a weird feeling) …

I didn't really feel anything, but a factual thing.

It was fact now, I had done it.

TCC 100

BECAT 100

100 Countries and Territories

100 Countries & Territories

100 Countries/Territories

100 100

Both summits conquered, both milestones cleared. And I hit them both days before my arbitrary (but for some reason very important) deadline of my thirty fifth birthday.

Obsession.

Onwards We Go

All of those simulations for months, and all the Dig Out Blind of this trip and this year, the getting up and fucking going, moving forward. It was done.

The way these big achievements feel is different each time.

I felt a similar unfeeling—ness when I hit 50 countries in Liechtenstein a few years ago. Eating a Lion bar, repeating the fact “This is my fiftieth country, 50th Country!”.

The one travel milestone that did bring genuine emotion, was completely unexpected.

On the bus from the airport, in Malta. My last EU country.

‘This is my last EU country.’ I thought to myself.

The tears of joy and completion started welling up beneath my eyelids.

Weird, hey.

Weird.

You never know. Emotions.

...continue reading

Perfection Published June 17, 2026

Intuitive Perfection.

Beautiful Romantic Adventures, Divine.

I suffer great pain from these pursuits of the Absolute.

Currently I'm suffering.

The videos since after Asia Trip 9 have each been a struggle of perfectionism.

My latest Weekly Address has been just this — Suffering.

I love video.

One thing I hate about video is the inability to adjust elements within after they're uploaded. Podcast episodes are different, a tweak here or there, an updated version always possible. The same with my written works.

I keep the original to know what it was at release, but sometimes the work can be improved upon in the detail. New Legitimate Versions.

These New Legitimate Versions can be both true to the original and living art that I change intuitively with time.

The perfectionist doesn't feel the horror of Finality.

The work is finished, but the creative decisions that I suffer over can be decided without extended pain … for the option is always there — I can choose a different path later.

A sound can be changed, a word can be changed.

Video is different.

Video has more finality.

The current video platforms impose it.

This is one of the reasons I stopped uploading my work to them, four years of BradNicholls.com/Video instead, it had many advantages.

The finality of the video could always be adjusted, in various ways.

The solution I want now is different.

...continue reading

Perfection Published June 17, 2026

Intuitive Perfection.

Beautiful Romantic Adventures, Divine.

I suffer great pain from these pursuits of the Absolute.

Currently I'm suffering.

The videos since after Asia Trip 9 have each been a struggle of perfectionism.

My latest Weekly Address has been just this — Suffering.

I love video.

One thing I hate about video is the inability to adjust elements within after they're uploaded. Podcast episodes are different, a tweak here or there, an updated version always possible. The same with my written works.

I keep the original to know what it was at release, but sometimes the work can be improved upon in the detail. New Legitimate Versions.

These New Legitimate Versions can be both true to the original and living art that I change intuitively with time.

The perfectionist doesn't feel the horror of Finality.

The work is finished, but the creative decisions that I suffer over can be decided without extended pain … for the option is always there — I can choose a different path later.

A sound can be changed, a word can be changed.

Video is different.

Video has more finality.

The current video platforms impose it.

This is one of the reasons I stopped uploading my work to them, four years of BradNicholls.com/Video instead, it had many advantages.

The finality of the video could always be adjusted, in various ways.

The solution I want now is different.

...continue reading

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