The Walk to Green Fields 

I woke up on the street under a lamp post. My nose was blocked with ash. I could feel the devastation before I opened my eyes and saw it. 

Everything was on fire wasn’t it. My old dreams. Last Street picked clean by emerald vultures. The beaten broken LoopBurger off Crow would be a pile of burnt-out synthetic beef and cheese by now. I smelt that for a while. Before I opened my eyes. 

I rolled saliva around my mouth, in and out of the gaps between my teeth, transferred the ball from one cheek to the other and then spat it up into the air. 

“Hallelujah.” I cried, I don’t know why. 

Piles of hot grey matter fell into my eyeballs. 

I couldn’t recognise one building from another. Each tower pierced the sky a long yellow flame. 

“Hey, get it together!!” 

She slapped the spit outta my mouth, grabbed my jacket and shook me in anger. 

“Alright!” I screamed. 

I stood up and rubbed my eyes clean of apocalyptic crap. 

“We have to go to Green Fields now.” 

She said it with a calming conviction. 

The name itself released a river of chemicals. Little molecular reminders. Happiness. I felt safe again for a moment. Green Fields. 

My fever was still there. I was a wilted flower in a shattered dream. All to dust. 

“All to dust.” 

Little Brown Girl was walking with a slight limp and had a bruise on her neck. She was worried about me. I was worried about her too. 

As we started walking I made a few attempts at moving garbage and a few more at teleportation. 

I think I might have pushed a pink plastic party cup a few feet, but it could have been the wind. As for the teleporting, there was nothing, and I was only wanting a metre or two. Just to see. 

I realised I really liked having power. I fucking loved having power. Even if that power, even at its height, was sporadic, chaotic and hard to control. 

Walking next to this little girl, this freakish what ever superbeing, I felt weak as a fucking plum. 

She could move garbage, she could probably move moons, teleportation probably easy as fuck for her too… or maybe not. We were in that bathroom a long time. 

I still felt it though, I felt that way, like she could squish me. I hated that feeling. I didn’t want to feel like I could be squished. 

And I did really feel it for a second. A little brown giant girl thumb making contact with my hair. And then collapsing my brain, my body. Squish. Squish. 

Fucking SQUISH SQUISH. It disgusted me. 

Why. The hell. 

I started punching my chest. I was strong. I was unsquishable. I was The Squisher. I did the squishing. 

I am The Squisher. I do the squishing. 

We walked the highway to the edge of the city. Green Fields was just beyond the last small patch of nature for thousands of miles, a small pine forest. 

Past the pines you’re in Green Fields. 

There was nothing natural about Green Fields. Well, it had some grass, long grass too, with those white bits at the top. Ha! 

That long grass covered a deep complex of tunnels, data centres, high yields and enough wire to strangle the galaxy. 

As we got further away from the city core, I could no longer hear the rage and the pain. Now only the wind. That wind grew stronger. 

Maybe the wind is a creature, some alien we’ve yet to discover. Or maybe not. 

Maybe all nature is just one big growling sea of Kank. Seems more likely. 

!#################################

I hate when they watch me write. They’re watching me now. I’m focused. I’m in this truth. And then I feel them. It IN-FURIATE!S me. I dream every night of their tiny little heads popped open, and their tiny little brains exposed to the freezing air out there. DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! 

!#################################

Me and the Little Brown Girl. We walked side by side, silent. I felt comfortable and I got the sense she felt the same. I didn’t need to speak and neither did she. For a while anyway. 

Twenty minutes in we passed a family and their dog, they had shopping carts stuffed full of bags and suitcases. Taking a break from running for their lives. 

Little Brown Girl’s face scrunched up and she looked like she was about to sneeze. 

“Do you have a family?” she asked. 

“Not really.” 

“Not really? So you do?” 

“That’s a bit complicated.” 

“Do you have a sister? I’ve always wanted a sister.” 

She squeezed her lips into a tiny o and kept making me feel miserable. 

“You must have some people though right, or just one person, someone you can depend on, someone who will always be there for you, someone who will always have your back no matter what?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Yes you do, sure you know.” 

“Nobody really.” 

The light fell out of her eyes and the corners of her lips curled downwards. 

“Do you ever feel sad about that?” 

I looked ahead at the shining aluminium sign of Green Fields. I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t know the answer. This child had a lot of questions, didn’t she. 

I punched her shoulder and told her to keep her eyes on the skies. 

I looked back behind me one last time. Sticky City would rise from the ashes of those fires. What kind of place it would be, I had no idea. 

No use wasting time thinking about it. 

Godwit Awakens 

She walked the fields feeling about the air. 

Squeezing fingers and thumbs, searching for an imaginary doorknob to turn or bowl of flour to knead. 

Vivacious, yeah I’ll use that word for her. She was vivacious. And hardcore and spunky and she never gave up or gave a fuck. I really did like her. 

“Where did I park her?” 

She spat some blood on the grass and placed both her hands on her bony little hips. 

“Maybe she ran away.” I said, joking, not knowing we weren’t looking for a ship, we were looking for a bird. 

The stars and stations appeared and disappeared through the clouds. The wind was gone now. The night was at peace. 

I scanned Green Fields, doing my best to separate the grass from anything else. 

On my third go round I hit a lump of gold. 

“Is that it?” 

Little Brown Girl screamed with joy. I was quite proud of myself. 

When we arrived at the lump, it looked different. From a few hundred metres away it looked the size of a small car, standing there in front of it and the thing was easily the size of a large house. 

It wasn’t metallic either, it shon and gleamed but this wasn’t any material I’d ever seen. It almost looked like feathers. 

It was feathers. 

It was a bird. 

A big bird. 

I already told you. 

With one light touch from LBG the giant awakened. 

The bird’s eyelids parted and two gigantic green orbs spun into existence. Lighting the entire lot. 

“There she is.” 

It was religious. Huge. 

“This is Godwit.” 

The name meant something to me. I just didn’t know what. I know now, I remembered. 

I was expecting the sound of a monster or an angel, maybe just a big fucking bird. But Godwit purred. A low seductive earth-shaking rumble. 

A flying feline. Power. 

I wish for this you could hear it instead of read it. 

How am I supposed to write this. . .  .     .         .

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr

Yeah, purrrrrrr. Fuck sake. 

“We have to fly Godwit over Steam.” 

My heart stopped. Steam. 

I was immediately against the idea. 

Steam was a wasteland of absolute certain death. All the old shit undead zombie arsehole tech went there, sometimes even humans would join in the ending filth. And more than anything they hated outsiders, overflying Steam was a suicide mission. 

It was common knowledge. 

COMMON KNOWLEDGE! 

It was common sense. 

COMMON SENSE! 

I still can’t believe I fucking did it. 

I was going to protest but there was no protesting the obvious. Not then. I knew what she knew. Actually, I didn’t fucking know anything, did I. What was this all about, why did we even need to head to Green Fields, why did we need to jump on a bird and take on Steam ??? 

“It’s the only way out of here. And you must live. I saved you for a reason.” 

She looked all wrinkled, like she’d been in the bath. But she was full of Mental Hardcore Extreme BELIEF. Complete Conviction. 

Her veins burst with it. 

I blew out my cheeks and made a loud POP. 

“Alright.” I said. 

‘She saved me for a reason.’ 

She grabbed healthy handfuls of the fur of the beast and made her way slowly to the top. 

I climbed fist over fist following Little Brown. 

Little Brown? Nah. 

Godwit’s wings reached high, touching in a heart. 

It only took a beat. 

Gravity defeated, we lift off. 

Cream pearl feathers gliding into the air. 

A bird doesn’t have faith in the branch, she has faith in her wings. 

The wings of a giant. 

I closed my eyes, and fell asleep. 

Things can always get worse 

The flying giant was now heading towards the ground. I had a hole in my chest and the Little Brown Girl was unconscious, laid out across the left wing. 

And the attack wasn’t over. 

I could see the black outline of the fuselage banking to come back around and hit us again. 

FREE AL KANKASTANIA 

F R E E   A L   K A N K A S T A N I A 

Lava. Lasers. A bad afternoon. 

“What.” 

Lights out. 

I went somewhere else. 

Before life. Some other realm. 

I was in a room with velvet curtains.

Everything was dark and royal. Someone was in the bathroom, I could hear them splashing water. 

A beautiful bluebird was smeared across the pretty wallpaper. 

Oh no. 

Wherever this was, it wasn’t a place for me. 

This smelt like hell. Poor bluebird. 

I tore the velvet to the side and opened the door to the balcony. A city of crystal at night. I was in a city of crystal, Crystal City, and it was night. 

Clear delicate buildings lit, see-through blue. It had the aesthetic of being inside a toothbrush. 

Maybe I was inside a toothbrush. 

Maybe I was a toothbrush. 

Tiny shadow creatures floated in the sky. Changing shape as they pleased. 

This was new. This wasn’t physical. But still more real than a drug or a dream. 

I was an alien again here. 

Was the bluebird mine? 

My happiness? 

The sounds from the bathroom grew louder. The more I listened, the more it sounded like masterbation. Wanking. 

Someone was wanking. 

Yeah. It sounded just like me wanking it in the bath, nobody home. 

I decided it was time to go have a look. 

She had a big dick. At least three times the size of mine. And perfect foreskin, as if a celebrity chef had carefully placed it with tongs. 

Pastry, perfection. 

Nice and pink too. 

Her face was a mix of AB Yu and Stacy Stink. Uncommon beauty. 

Isn’t it fucking crazy how they both died. 

Two massively beautiful women, massive talent, dead on the same shuttle from Earth’s moon back down. Natural! That’s the craziest thing. Nobody believes it still to this day. Two separate permanent backup malfunctions. Minutes apart. And it was all supposed to be natural, that natural one in a billion event. Sure. It’s crazy enough if it’s two nobodies. But it was them. 

My theory is some obsessed fanboy did it. It was obviously an attack, I don’t give a shit about the investigations and the official narrative. 

Fuck off!! 

Some fanboy did it – I end them, then they’re mine forever logic. 

I was actually sad about that, you know. 

I didn’t give a fuck on 12/12. Barely even bothered watching The Flat Stand Massacre videos. Couldn’t have cared less when The Baby Wipe happened. But something about their deaths affected me. 

I always imagined me marrying a girl like them. I used to daydream about it. We would wed on some quiet unknown moon and get lost together out in the darkness of space, away from all the shit. All the shit. 

We’d find a planet eventually, some abandoned old mine planet, all the vegetation regrown and seas cleaned by time. A whole world for ourselves. Somewhere. 

Laying down with Yu. 

Laying down with Stink. 

Together on a little paddle boat on a clear night. Just us. 

I felt love whenever I dreamed those dreams. 

Anyway. . . 

Back to the bathtub wanker. 

The tits were big, big fake tits, and her stomach was flat, the legs were long and the hips were thick. 

Her eyes closed, she took long, fast strokes. 

Slippery. 

Sliding. Bubbles. Elegance. 

What a life. What a world. What a book. 

Maybe she caught me and we talked and fell in love and fucked like Bansto Rabbits for weeks. Her cock in my mouth and my dick up her arse. Or maybe something else happened. You can go ahead and write it. 

Go on. 

Write it and end it here, when I start scratching at my wrist like mad. 

I started scratching at my wrist like mad. 

I woke up to reality in a wood cabin. 

SAFE AND SOUND home at last 

Soup? 

I had the afterimages of a strange woman behind my eyes. Who was she? She was new. Japanese? Looked upset. I had upset her. She was definitely upset with me over something. I felt a great love though. Between us. She loved me, and I her. 

Snooker balls were ringing around her pretty head. 

As light entered my eyes, she became a cartoon. 

And then she was gone. 

Lots of soup. I counted the bowls on the long oak table. Twenty seven big blue bowls. Each bowl filled to the brim, a crimson liquid with a few shakes of white pepper on top. 

I looked around for a spoon. No spoon. 

Little Brown Girl was asleep on a rug on the floor cuddling with a border collie terrier mix. 

I poked her exposed thigh, nothing. I kicked her ear, nothing. She wasn’t dead. Her stomach rose and fell. I let her sleep. 

She wore pink underwear, a size too small for her. Maybe her little sister’s or the prized loot of a washing line raid. I still had no real answers. But she was protecting me and I wanted to protect her. 

She looked a bit like me too in an odd way. 

I checked every room of the large cabin and searched outside in the wild overgrown gardens and dark woods. Nobody. Who was all that soup for? 

I finished three bowls, putting my lips to the edge and downing the liquid quickly. 

Soup is always nice. Covers the taste of blood. 

I sat at the table growing increasingly pissed off about my loss of powers. 

After an hour of clenching my fists and staring at the wooden wall, I got up and went back outside. Determined to get it all back. 

I screamed. I ran. I ran into a tree. I chopped at the air. I ripped chunks of soil up with my teeth. I focused on a hill a thousand feet away and squeezed with everything, with fucking everything. 

Nothing worked. And I had no idea what I was even doing. Fuck FUNK. Fuck that lie. 

That stupid excuse for magic. 

I went back inside, took a warm shower, cried a little and then finished off a few more bowls of soup. 

It was a few hours more before Little Brown Girl started to stir. 

“Nice sleep?” I asked her. 

“What happened? Where is this? How did we get here?” 

“Don’t know. Don’t know. Don’t know.” 

I picked up a glass milk bottle and pissed in it. Sometimes I forgot I was with a child. 

I don’t remember the rest of our conversation. 

I remember being upstairs, looking in the mirror. My eyes were sunken and cheeks puffy. I formed both hands into a pyramid and styled a mohawk. 

What an interesting guy. 

I cleared a herd of pillows and collapsed onto the bed.

I grabbed a pillow and squeezed it with all my might. I tore open the fabric and held fistfuls of soft feathers. 

My heart was burning in my chest. My ears rang with a deafening whistle. I heard an old bell in the distance. I tasted the familiar metal. 

I felt a brick of shit land on my chest. And then I fell asleep. 

I woke up before dawn and went downstairs to think. I opened all the windows and let the morning air fill the room. 

I felt emotions hit from every direction. 

Sadness. 

Anger. 

Guilt. 

Images of women. Their naked bodies. Asleep and safe in my bed and then smashed like ketchup rockets into concrete. 

Was all that really me?

My heart. It hurt. 

I stood there for a long time. 

I focused on a tree in the distance and again willed my powers to return. I clenched my fists and my arsehole, no luck. 

Bang! 

Shit. 

Teleportation. Superpowers. Guess she could then, maybe just through wood. 

Little Brown Girl was now right in front of me, in the garden, out the window. She was dressed for business and had an adult backpack on her back. 

She was chewing on an apple. 

“Alright, listen, we have to get to Earth. If I explain why you probably won’t come, you definitely won’t come. I just need you to trust me that in the end everything will work out if we get to Earth.” 

She was hard to argue with. And she kept looking more and more like me. I wasn’t sure if her face was actually morphing into mine. Some trick. 

“Look, you have to live. You’re important to this.” 

Her chopped black hair attacked her face at dramatic angles. 

I thought for a moment what this was. Existence? Her diabolical plan to conquer The First World? 

“You don’t have to convince me, kid. I’m in.” 

She smiled slightly. But I could tell she didn’t trust those words.

“After the attack we woke up here, I’m not sure why, but it’s only three systems over.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Superpowers.” 

“Nice.” 

The weather was nice too. This planet wasn’t bad. 

Something was bothering me. I stood there for a minute looking into Little Brown Girl’s eyes. 

An itch, a memory. 

I put my hand on my heart. 

‘I was shot in the fucking chest.’ 

“Yeah. I patched you up.” 

My heart hammered my ribcage. Those eyes were something else. 

She patched me up. 

I kicked my heels into the dirt, put my hands in my back pockets and smiled. 

“Thanks.” 

Why was I suddenly outside? 

“Alright, your pack is by the fridge, we leave in 30.” 

Earth it was. 

It wasn’t until I was in the kitchen, grabbing the straps of the bag that it hit me. 

When exactly did she patch me up? 

She was the one with all the questions when she woke up. And yet she seemed right at home, all comfy in her underwear, cuddling with that dog. A dog I hadn’t seen since. 

Superpowers again? I don’t know. It felt like something else. 

Maybe it was me. These things, these holes in reality were happening more and more. 

At the time, it wouldn’t have surprised me if I opened my eyes in a Rio Box, a hundred cables keeping alive whatever physical wisps of me remained. 

I held the straps firm and lifted the bag, holding it by my side. This was my life now, whatever it was, this was it.