Obsession. Perfection. 100.
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Published October 17, 2026
Why am I like this?
Why do I care so fucking much about every single fucking thing?
Why can I lie, but I'll never lie to myself?
Well that is just the way I FUCKING AM!
A month ago I turned 35, September 17th. It was very special, I had accomplished something very special. Hitting 100 countries and territories on both the Travelers' Century Club list, and my own list of countries/territories the BECAT.
And I also went further over the line just in case my hundreds of counts of my lists had somehow some kind of mistake somewhere. They didn't, I knew they didn't, but of course I still went further.
I forced myself out of bed again, to cross the bridge and enter Paraguay, have a lovely afternoon coughing my way around the city of Ciudad del Este. Splitting concrete, Breaking hearts.
I ended The BIG AMERICAS TRIP at 102 on the TCC and 101 on the BECAT. Definitive. Undisputed. 100 COUNTRIES AND TERRITORIES IN MY FUCKING BAG!!
I left Sao Paulo on my birthday, Pizza Hut buffet in my belly, flying into the night sky on a 777, watching the Backrooms movie, heading for England, home. Happy.
I'm writing this on my own software. One of several programs I have 'vibe' coded since I got back. My new obsession a new core is Artificial Intelligence. It has been building inside for a while now. More on that at the end of this, because first I want to write about my obsessive personality, and that inability to lie to myself.
I fell asleep. After a long day. On September 30th I fell asleep. I didn't publish my Blog post, the '100' milestones Blog post. It was the morning of October 1st, early morning early morning. I woke up and instantly knew. FUCK. A new problem. What to do. The post was done, finished, the webpage not. I made it October 1st and knew this wasn't the solution. Self-lies, Impossible.
I've built, I've eaten, I've had many baths, I've worked my fingers numb, and I've had this annoying bit of shitty annoyance in my mind too. Pedantic Crap. Yes, PEDANTIC CRAP. But it's been a thing. It's been a problem.
This is my solution.
That Blog post will stay up, I love it, it's a great post, about a great thing. Sometimes the publication date will be listed September 30th and other times I'll change it to October 1st. And now we have this post too, they sit together as one collective of rage and defiance and honesty against silly fake space time, the physics of this silly fake universe machine.
I spent so many months worrying, in a state of certain belief Conviction, and some thing shaped like doubt - that some personal or global catastrophe would burn, mess. Hurt my dreams. Those things were there, they came, I swatted them aside, I got it done. This is the annoyance, there had to be one, some small tax to pay. Another great mountain, another pebble in the shoe. Why am I like this? Don't worry, I'm smiling.
And now to this ---
AI. SI. My Intelligence.
This is a train I've been waiting for.
I've explored the whole world, for 15 years, around and around, over and over. I'm back at the station, and now this train has arrived. I want this train, want to know it, I need this train, drive her.
My new obsession, beautiful dangerous thing, so much will come from this.
Obsession. Perfection.
BradEarth.